This is my dilemma. People see me and and see something great. I am attractive and make a good first impression usually. I have this potential. Since she broke up with me, three women have fallen for me. They like me because I am funny and not afraid to express myself. It's hard because I only want one, and she is not available. Even if someone does like me, I must keep my distance, if I get too close, I will put them off and push them away. I don't know what it is, but it always seems to happen to me. I am a dangerous person to be with. I want something that is not there. It would've been ill-advised to pursue the first two women, due to friendships and mixed feelings, but this last one could show some promise. It was confusing and unexpected. She's been my friend for some time, and was always very supportive of me. Despite what happened between us, I am not yet ready. I do like her, and she is incredibly nice, friendly, and affectionate, but I don't want to get into something that I am not ready for, and don't want to hurt her.
In other news, I am still miserable. I don't know what I'm doing right now. I plan to be alone for quite a while, by design and by choice. I am in a weird place right now. Tomorrow is my birthday, and I want only one thing.
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