walking after you

I love you. I know nobody's perfect, but I look at you, and that's exactly what I see. I see perfection, because I love you. Because you were so good to me, gave me everything, and you have everything I could ever ask for, I see you as perfect. The best thing that has ever happened to me. You know how good it was and how good I was to you, and you became frightened. You chose to run when things got tough, like it wasn't worth fighting for. It was too difficult for you, so you started making ridiculous excuses to get out of it, saying things about me that have made me out to be some terrible person, when you know that I am not. Every new reason you give makes me feel worse and worse. I have never hurt you or intended to hurt anyone else. You may have wanted a clean break, and may have been doubtful for some time, but it is at my expense. You cannot even begin to imagine how miserable and confused I have felt for the last 2 months. You are not that innocent, 14 year-old girl anymore. You are an adult. Running when it gets hard is selfish and not the behavior of an adult. Grow up. I thought you had grown with each previous relationship, but then you just revert back to a classic state of confusion and uncertainness. Sure, you still have some time to figure yourself out and enjoy college life, but I am finished, ready to go out and start my life. I used my remaining time here building up a relationship with a fantastic woman whom I cared about deeply, and it's not fair to me to just be dropped right before I leave. What am I supposed to do? "Go on and live your life" is easier said than done. I will be alone for the rest of my life if I have to. Not because I think I have to, but by choice. I know who you were and what we had, and I am not letting that go, I am not going to settle for less. Building something with anyone else would be, I guarantee it. If you no longer have any intention of embracing what we once had, and what we shared together, then I hope you feel good about yourself when you're ready to do it all again and fuck the next guy over. It's not worth it, continuing to hurt yourself and others for your own needs. Was I not enough? Could I not satisfy you? I could've sworn I did for 7 months.