starlight

I swear she's intentionally trying to hurt me at this point. All I was doing was ushering a show so that I could see it before I left, and he had to be there. He brought her flowers and she was happy to see him and was very close to him. I tried to ignore him, but she just had to show that affection towards him and it looked like she kissed him. He was around the entire time after the show, and even when I had to come back, they were in front of her car, doing god knows what. Meanwhile, she was completely ignorant of me and my feelings, just like she was on my birthday. It doesn't make any sense why she would do that, continue to hurt me like that. She told me that all she wanted was to be alone and then she goes and pulls this, letting him get close again and pull his shit. I'm sure that was all just another lie, they're probably fooling around, which is completely unfair, seeing as he broke up with her and treated her like shit, and she broke up with me and I still love her so much, more than he or anyone else could. I feel like just a filler while they figured things out together. Why would she avoid "leading me on" so much and let him be around all the time and want to see him? She says that they're just friends and that nothing is going on, but I know that it is the same situation, if he had the chance with her again, he would take it immediately. Of course she wasn't wearing the necklace tonight, why should she? She doesn't care about me anymore. That was a symbol of our love, and giving her my heart, which she proceeded to play around with and eventually kick to the curb. I was there tonight, sitting on the playground where we once sat together, talking about our lives, in love with each other. Love? Love is a strong word that has no relevance in this situation. She chose to use it first, and that was a mistake. Many things she said and did were a mistake, pushing on to satisfy her own lustful and selfish needs. I am tired. I'm tired of putting my heart out there, only to have it cooked medium-well and swallowed whole. I've been pushed around and shit on my entire life, and I'm sick of it. I'm done. Finished. People can pull whatever they want, and I won't be around to accept the consequences.