dumb

Love makes you dumb. It makes you do dumb things. I've done some dumb things, some outright stupid things since we got together, good and bad. As of late, they've mostly been bad. I feel like I am in the right most of the time, only because I try to be reasonable and make sense of things. I love her, but cannot forgive her for what she's done. I am sorry that things became so fucked up, but I will not apologize for my actions. I gave you everything I could, and yet you treated me terribly and lied to me. This last thing I've done maybe a little over the edge, but it was my last resort. I was extra angry with her this last week. I want them to know, to be on my side, and for her to see all this in a new light. I do appreciate Laura, Sammie, and Chris for being there to listen, agree with me on the issues, and be on my side. No matter what I do or say, no one can see what I have seen over the course of our relationship, not even she. It just slowly trailed off, she stopped tickling me, poking me, laughing at my jokes, wanting to be around, wanting to kiss me, wanting to say "I love you", yet we continued to have sex. All it was anymore was sex, because we still were attracted to each other and liked it. It was a lie. It was empty. That is how she wronged me. The lies. What did you want out of this? What did you want from me? Maybe you got everything you needed out of me and then you were done.