It keeps coming back to me. Memories, dreams, that loneliness and longing for a girl that does not exist. I did anything for her, and it proved fruitless. I just cannot understand.
Need. "Need" is unhealthy. Yet we both had it at one time or another. She definitely needed me at the beginning for some reason. Then it began to become very mutual, whether we both needed each other, or neither one of us needed one another. Then she started to drift away. I didn't know why. Maybe I became an ugly person that she saw things she didn't like in, or maybe it was just that she didn't "need" me anymore. Didn't need me anymore? I wasn't the one that started the whole "neediness" thing. It shouldn't be about need, it should be about want, about love. Once she started to drift away, I wanted her more, I was not used to being away from her and her not wanting to be there. I am certainly not used to this either. It was not about need with me. It was about love, and that love, affection, and attraction is what kept me coming back to you. I've said it before, and it has not, nor will not lose meaning any time soon...........I love you and will always love you.
"you're fabulous"..................."you're amazing"....................."you're absurdly attractive"............"I miss you tremendously"......................."I love you"..................."I have done well I'd say"...................."I didn't want to kiss you"................"I don't want to get back together, ever"............."I don't want to marry you".................."I don't want to have your children"............
"I shouldn't be here"................"I think you should go"...........
What happened? I feel as though my entire world has been turned upside down, and it's somehow my own fault.
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