once

I am sorry that I tilted the scales. I did not want to come off as needy or dependent upon you. I did not NEED you, but when you came into my life, it just made me all the more happy. As I did for you. I don't feel that I ever asked too much of you. You did not have to partake in everything I wanted to do, but we always WANTED to share in the aspects of each other's lives. Perhaps the normalcy and comfort scared you, and you couldn't handle that. Once it got to a point, you had to step back and think about things. I think that displays a certain level of maturity on both ends. I was at a point of comfort that I didn't have to think too seriously about things anymore, we just assumed that we would be seeing each other and doing whatever, and everything just seemed to fall into place. You seemed to have grown due to focusing on important work in school and theater, thinking about if this was able to be held onto in the meantime. You saw a great many things in me, just as I did in you. Things that you thought were cute, sexy, and sometimes amazing. Sure, there were things we didn't agree upon sometimes, and maybe we occasionally saw things in each other that we did not like. That aside, I never had doubts about you and never dreamed about anything big enough to separate us. You always said that we were too different, but when you look at it, our personalities are quite similar. We are both sweet, loving, affectionate, passionate, weird, we can confuse ourselves, get lost in ourselves, we can be selfish, judgmental, liars, display a certain amount of cowardice, and overall we are emotional. We cannot help it. We are humans, displaying human emotions. I conveyed a rather extreme case of them obviously, and I am extremely regretful for that. I'm sure that those actions, especially during our trial break period, only made things worse and pushed you away further. It just always gave me so much strength and courage knowing that you were there in some capacity. It strikes me as odd that you didn't have the time for us at the end of the semester, yet now we do and you are no longer there. I always looked forward to the summer because we would have that time, could take things slower, and it would be easier on both of us. I feel like getting into it and coming on too strong was a turnoff and made it not as exciting to be with me anymore. What ever happened to the "amazing, absurdly attractive, (presumably) out of your league" man whom you used to "miss tremendously"? I love you. Don't give up on me.........or yourself.