so I lied

Love is not enough. We had it, then somehow didn't anymore. I did, I thought you did, but chose to dwell on all the negative aspects you could muster. You shouldn't let such minute details bother you so much, and if it's something that I was doing, you could TELL me. Most of it, I didn't even know how much it bothered you, or that it did at all. At your sister's wedding, I commented on the pitch of the singer, I had seven years of choir, I can't not notice those things. You complained that I didn't dance........I am terrible at dancing, I don't love to, and if I had known it bothered you that much, I would have sucked it up and did it anyway. You know when we were at Club Tropicana that I wasn't dancing, but I knew that you were out there alone, and came out to share that with you, and I'm glad I did. It was romantic to dance so close like that. You're a GIRL, it's normal for you to want to dance, a lot of guys don't. I'm NOT a terrible person. You said that I was judging all the flats on the project you were working on.............once again, experience. I am a painter. I know what to look for, especially when there's a template to go off of. I don't know what could have went wrong other than the fact that you are overly critical. You liked me for me at first, and I'm sorry that I didn't read your mind and cater to your every whim. That's not how it works, you know that. You have to work through things, you can't just blame everything on me. I was a good guy, and when I made seemingly "rude" remarks, I was kidding, I even said I was when I did, and you would say: "you're charming" sarcastically cause I was just trying to be funny. You used to like who I was and we made each other laugh and were cute together........then we stopped playing around, you didn't want to poke at me or tickle me anymore, and stopped laughing at my jokes.......if you were even listening to me in the first place. You hardly gave me reasons, and when you did, I explained myself and pretty much negated all of them successfully. It doesn't make sense. It just seems like if things get too hard, you have to bail, that it's not worth fixing. You kept pushing, and pushing, and pushing, and I followed along, getting more and more into it, and felt welcomed to do so. Then it got to a certain point, we went as far as we could regarding new things, and you were done. I looked into your eyes last night, and all I saw was stone. I felt like I was talking to a brick wall with a crude depiction of you on it. I'm not like crutches, you don't just get rid of me once you don't "need" me anymore. I believe that you legitimately loved me, but I hope you didn't love only one side of me, being driven by your own horniness, cause that's certainly what it seemed like in the end. That's all that was left, and it's not fair. Were you necessarily unhappy in the other aspects? Otherwise, you said you still felt comfortable, close, and the normalcy helped. I know you were busy and felt like you had all the power, but do you really think that will change with someone else? You're always going to be busy. I thought I had everything, gave everything to you. What else do you expect? I miss what we had. You were "up for anything", because you loved and trusted me. You swallowed with me, for the first time, and continued to do so. I ALWAYS went down on you, and loved every minute of it. We always had favorite positions. You would sit on top of me, pleasuring yourself while we had sex, and then put those fingers into my mouth. It was sensual. When I was ready, I would pull out, and you would spread out and accept it. I was always up for anything as well, and felt very open with you. Now I'm only left with scars. If I had known that all this wasn't going to last, I would have never done anything with you in the first place. You were fantastic, and everything I could've hoped for, and more than I thought I deserved. Good luck having that comfort, closeness and passion with someone else, because it's NOT going to happen. No one will ever care for you more than I do. I don't want it to happen for me. No one else would compare. I saw a bright future with you, not even forever, but at least longer than it was. There was a possibility of marriage and a family because I thought that you wanted that at a point, and that got me wanting that as well. I wanted to give you everything possible. I was and am a great guy and I don't know what more you could possibly want than that. I was always there for you and we spent some great times together. You're not going to find perfection or someone that can make your every dream come true. You came close for me and that's all I could ask for. Why continue to search for something that's under your nose the entire time? Why risk waiting a long time only to have to settle on someone in the end? Sometimes you have to work for it. We were happy enough for a time that it could still be there. You just can't see it the same way anymore because it's not new and exciting like it was. Nothing is new and exciting forever, and you can't expect that. We never ached, wheezed and bled until we became "demonic". You look at old messages, posts, and conversations, realizing that they all start the same, but you don't have to let them end the same. If you see something happening, you work at it. That's all you can do, aside from abandoning it and making both parties suffer. I want you with a fiery passion that cannot be described in words, only in feelings and actions. I would give anything to see you again, not just in pictures and memories of us happy. The things that you miss about us are worth holding onto and building upon.